Its good I didn't know how much I was going to love this little girl, or how much I was going to love this new gig of mine. If I had known these last 9 months would have been the longest of my life. Now I understand why people get so impatient being pregnant.
Instead, I spent the last 9 months scared out of my mind about giving birth. I was prepared to stay pregnant forever if I could just avoid the actual process of getting the young babe out of me. Matt would have to remind me of why I would be going through it. Ridiculous right? Its really embarrassing how selfish I was being.
Turns out "good" birth stories exist. But I wouldn't have known that by all the horror stories people decided to share with me. I'm still confused as to why people think a 9 month pregnant wimp is the ideal audience for their birth story. Everything went so much better that I thought it could. And instead of being delirious with pain and feeling like my body was being forever ruined- I felt closer to this new little human, Matt, and Heavenly Father than ever before.
With Matt spending the weekdays working in Airdre I was so scared that he would miss our babe being born. Once he got back from his interview in Cleveland on the 15th I was a little more sure that he would be here for the actual birth... but nervous he wouldn't be home when I went into labour.
At my last appointment the doctor let me know that if I hadn't gone into labour by the 24th she would induce me if I wanted. She had checked me at that appointment and I was at a 2 and very "favorable". This was super exciting to me- until I went home and googled things up and realized that girls are walking around at a 2 for weeks- months even. So maybe I would make it tot he 24th and be induced, which wouldn't be bad. That way Matt would for sure be there... but it would also mean there would be less than a week between when she would be born and when we were supposed to go back to Utah. Not ideal. So, I decided she had to be born on the 17th. It was a Saturday, 2 weeks before Utah, and turns out it was our due date.
Friday (the 16th) when Matt got home we decided we had better celebrate our Anniversary the next day- because who knows when we will get the chance. Matt was going to make a waffle breakfast feast to start the day off. So we headed to Safeway to get somethings. We were about to leave the store... looking at frozen strawberries... when I a little bit peed my pants. Thats embarrassing....we should probably go home now. We were putting away our breakfast foods when I a lot a bit peed my pants. "Ummmmm hubs- something is happening. I think my water broke". So we gather up the hospital bag and other last minute things. I was surprisingly calm. But Matt was uber calm. I feel like the more stressful the situation- the more calm the boy gets. Which is good usually... but sometimes I would appreciate a good freak out from him. Or at least once.
We get to the emergency room and have to talk to the slowest, most grumpiest secretary lady ever. She sends us upstairs. I want to kick her shins before we go- but I dont. I am still feeling calm... even a little excited. When we get there I am hooked up to the monitors and we wait. Homegirl was feeling a little dozy so they left me on the monitors for such a long time. They do some tests to see if my water broke.... it didn't. I legit did just pee my pants. Blush. The nurse says she will check me anyways. It must have been slow at the hospital that night because I kind of felt like I was just being checked for fun. But surprise I was at a 4! She asked me again if I had been having any contractions. No, no. She again reminds me how favorable I am. She decides to call the doc to see if he (not my regular Dr because its a weekend) wants to keep me. I am denied by the hospital gods and sent home. I feel like the Lethbridge hospital kind of has a reputation for this. The nurse tells me that because of my "favor" the contractions will likely start soon. And when they do they will be "strong and hard" (not a great thing to tell the queen of all wimps). She says she wouldn't be surprised if I came back in that night.
So we get in the car.. and decide to go to Matts parents to pick up a waffle iron. If we happen to be at home Saturday morning we might as well have anniversary breakfast party. After we have the goods we go home and go right to bed. It was only like 9 but we were sure we would be up in a few hours to have a baby. Around midnight the contractions started. Throughout the night they averaged about 9 min apart and lasted about 30 seconds. The hospital pounds it in your head not to come in until they are 5 min apart and last 1 min. And I aint going to be rejected again. So I keep by butt in bed. By 7 I couldnt stay in bed any longer... but I still wasnt 5 min apart. So on we go to breakfast party. Matt was the chef and I lay on the couch, reading a waffle recipe between contractions. After we ate my contractions slowed down a ton. Like every 15-20 min. Great. By noon I was just annoyed by them. Either lets do this or just stop, this in between stuff was crappy.
So Matt and I walk to the park and pace it back and forth. There was only a little strip of shade so we walked that thing like a bunch of creepers for quite a while.
This didn't seem to help, so we talk about going to a movie. But right before we were going to leave we decide maybe a nap was a better idea. Ya right. You do not simply nap through contractions. Mostly because of the pain... but also because I was obsessed with tracking them on my phone. Cant be sleeping through prime data collection.
Matt tries some of the massages we learned in pre-natal. And they were actually pretty helpful. But sure as heck aren't speeding things up. Then the idea of walking of Costco comes up. Were about to go when a strong contraction comes and mom says I feel like maybe you should go to the hospital instead of Costco. Fine.
So at 4 pm, back in the car we get- dont worry we already have it loaded with our stuff. This time the emergency lady was super helpful and quick and I loved her. She sends us up really quick. We get up to the 3rd floor... and Tiffany looses it. I told Matt how scared I was and the tears start flowing and I stop moving. Ill just hangout in the elevator thanks. Hubs gives me some pump up words, and a few kind nudges and were on our way again. Back into the monitoring room. The nurse asks how far apart my contractions are, they were still like 8 or 9 min, but I lie a little for the fear of being sent home and say 6. Again they hook me up to the monitors, again she isnt moving a ton so they leave me on there forever. But this time it is super uncomfortable. The contractions have almost totally moved to my back. Mmmmm back labor, I have heard about you. I try to reposition- the nurse positions me back to the worst angle ever. She says that my contractions are still all over the place (lying doesn't do a kid much good when hooked up to monitors) and that they will probably have to send me home until they become more regular. Awesome. But again she says she will check me "just to see". And then she gets a surprised look and tells me I am at a 6! She goes to call the doctor but says now she thinks they will keep me. O thanks. Then things really started to pick up.
Within 10 min ( I think?) I was in the delivery room. The nurse had asked me if I wanted anything for the pain. I said I wanted an epidural, and she told me the anesthesiologist had just been there so he was probably still pretty close and that they would start my lab work right away and have him come back. Then I have another freak out. And say well... maybe we should wait. (WHY in the world would I say that- I dont know. Actually I do. I thought I was going to have to have a catheter. And maybe didnt want that... I think at this point I was kinda loosing it). She says well its up to you. Matt (thank goodness) steps in and says that we would like to get it now. The worst part of getting the epidural was the IV... which they did 3 times, and also did 2 numbing shots.
There were tons of nurses running around the room doing who knows what, and then a man comes in with cowboy boots and a Dallas cowboys shirt on. And he just watches. And that was a little awkward... until he told me he was the doctor. He checked me and told me I was at a 9. Things were going WAY faster than I thought they could. The nurse then tells me that when she said I was at a 6 she thought I was more at a 7 or 8. So me and nurse lady lied to each other a lot that afternoon, at least it was going both ways.
Then I had some sort of groggy surreal nap. Matt fed me ice chips and we waited. Cowboy/Dr comes back and checks me again, Im at a 10 and its go time. By now its about 7. I pushed for 45 min and then all of a sudden Matts lips turned white. And his eyes got a little teary. Causing me to get super teary. Our little Brylin was here! She was born at 7:57pm and was 7 lbs 5 oz, 19 inches long. They never told me her Apgar score but I over heard the nurses saying it was between an 8 and 9. She has blonde/red/lightbrown hair. No one is really sure. And her eyes haven't decided what they want to be yet. We think they are leaning to the blue side, but sometimes I see little brown flecks in the sun.
I hope I never ever forget those first few minutes of her life. There was so much going on around us, but it was still one of the most special moments of my entire life.
And I didn't die getting her here, which after hearing everyones stories I thought was pretty likely.
We stayed in the hospital until Monday morning and then we were given the go ahead to go home.
It was so nice to get to go home to my parents house because after Matt had to go back to work I wouldn't have been able to do it without mom and dads help. And it was so fun to watch them with her. I feel like I got a little glimpse of what life was like for me in the first few weeks. And it was so cool to watch them to become grandparents. This little one is lucky to have so many people on both sides of our family that love her so much already.
I am obsessed with every little part of this little girl. Her left ear has a little crimp in it that I think is the cutest thing ever and I hope it never goes away. Her feet are 110% Matts. Like its almost creepy. Same toes, feet, toe nails- she is just missing some hair on her toes. They kind of look like shrunken man feet more than baby feet. And they are so ticklish. She rolled over from her back to her tummy at 9 days old. She now rolls from her tummy to her back too and its become a frequent thing. It has been so neat to watch her eyes develop and focus on Matt and I.
Today I thought I would start brainwashing her into loving country music. I turn on Pandora and Tim McGraws "My Little Girl" comes on. Hello water works. Then "Your going to miss this". I am not ready for country music if they insist on singing such songs.
I love her more than I thought a person could love another so instantly. She wakes up around 4 every morning, and I get a little excited to pick her up, feed her, and snuggle her for a bit. I am sure this excitement will fade quickly. And by the time she wakes up at 7:30 I am not quite so eager, but it still such a rush to see her little face in the morning, and know that she is ours.
